...at ease until you put the cap back on the bottle...

Last night I dreamt about the craziest things....I had a fun weekend, so that probably had something to do with it. The BF talked some bizarre convo in his sleep and woke up with a thumb tack in his back. I guess in his "I'm asleep but awake at the same time" period of the morning, he honestly believed I had put the tack in the bed...and to think I tried so hard not to hog the covers last night....
Oh the covers are mine tonight mister!

I attempted to work out today. I don't have any plan of what I want to do or how I am going to get there, but dangit I tried. I looked on YouTubes and found the ab ripper of P90x dude and some Zumba dance. I also ran in place for almost an hour. I felt pretty good about it... I prolly won't do it again, but for today, I feel great.

Also, I took a test today. This man is going to drive me nuts. First of all his name is Carol. Second of all, it is a politics class...something I care nothing about. So Mr. Carol decides to give us a 51 question test that has to be done in 4 minutes. REALLY?? That is 4.70 seconds per question. It takes that long just to read it and save the answer that I just guessed because I didn't have time to even think. I hope it was a mistake. I made 94% but was penalized 10 points for taking more than 4 minutes. I was really looking forward to putting that A in the books.

The Angel and Devil are doing great. They love the roommate and having the BF around all the time. It's precious.

fine print::::: sorry it's not all fun and different fonted anymore. i got bored with it. time for change.

...long time, no talk...

Considering I have had a pretty eventful life over the past three months, I found it very boring to start writing again.

For some reason, I wanted to start again tonight and loved going back through my old posts. I am not in my apartment anymore and I have already moved back to Tuscaloosa from Jackson...see told ya! I did, in fact, fall in love with Brookwood gas pad donut friend and its been the best time ever!

So here we go... another chapter in my life to tell you guys  (get ready!) about. No more drama-rama. On to making new friends and cherishing the ones already in my life.

Love it.

...ya think...

Pretty sure I am totally loving this making new friends thing. Wednesday was crazy fun driving around with Brookwood gas pad donut friend and I am pretty sure after last night, we are destined to be best friends. We both grew up doing the country thing and that's not something I find very often in Tuscaloosa. Anyways, over the past two days we have shot stuff (maybe I should just go ahead and fall in love), pinched myself (ha ha sister), done donuts, driven someone else's truck (huge surprise considering my awful driving), laughed our asses off, and drank lots of beer. Does it get much better?!? He even volunteered to help me move to Jackson...wow....

Anyways... so yea, got a sublease and I am leaving Tuscaloosa for sure. I am kinda excited but I know that after this week, I am def going to be up here more often.....



I am beginning to think that I am the only person in the world that gets the pleasure of having extraordinarily weird things happen to me. I know I am not the only person but sometimes I seem to think so. 

I remember being in high school... I was a bit of a nerd... and hearing all the popular girls talk about hanging with their big sisters and crazy stuff happening to them. I always wanted to be able to have a funny story that involved me and sister acting a fool and people laughing at it. I would literally sit around and think up situations that could happen and then laugh for hours about it, wishing that it was true. 

Well, I got my fix, that's for sure. 

Lately I have been working on moving and going to Jackson and looking for jobs and finding a sublease and all that jazz. I don't think I have ever had more random things happen to me than in this past month.

Example 1:
 I love horses. Everyone knows that. I was in Greensboro, Al and there was one in the middle of the road. I like to think that I was being a good samaritan by avoiding potential life threatening situations by getting mr. horsey out of the road, but honestly, I was pretty stoked he even let me touch him. He didn't stay long but just like 1/2 of the Married Couple said when she saw a horse in the road: 
"He was meant to be there. He knew I was coming and he knew I needed a friend."
Jay Bug, I totally understand now. He ended up running off into a clearing where I helped the owners round him up, but for that moment I was on top of the world with mr. horsey. 

Example 2:
I went to Shiloh for a night to visit Daddy and Shot and watch Shot's band play in our barn. When I drop up, there were cars lined down our driveway. That doesn't say much until I tell you that our driveway is 1/4 of a mile long. Yea. The taurus barely got me home. Well Shot is always so protective over me and when the night was over, I found myself sober, sleeping in MY room, sharing it with someone who claimed it was theirs. Not only did this dude think he was in HIS room, but he talked and talked and talked. I was livid. My brother was sleeping soundly in his room where the passed out guy was sleeping, while I was stuck with drunk guy running his chow chomper 90 to nothing. That night, I slept on the only couch that Daddy owns, which is missing a leg while dude slept in my room.

Example 3:
Today I went grocery shopping. I HATE shopping in any shape, form, or fashion. I sat for at least 15 mins looking at pickles. I had the WORST craving ever. I didn't know which kind I wanted, so I just got all kinds of different dill pickles. I got dill relish because when I was at Marmie's this past weekend, I kept looking for pickles and all she had was dill relish. Everytime I would get a craving, I would grab a spoon and scoop some dill relish... but shhhhh. Don't tell. 
My fridge now looks like a cannery. 

Example 4: 
I am from the countriest of the country, and I did my first donut last night on a gas pad in Brookwood. I also loved it. 

Example 5:
 I have been trying to say the word "statistics" for abouuuuttt ohhhhhhh..... 3 hours now. I was reminded by Brookwood gas pad donut friend that I couldn't say it :(

Ok.. now that I made it to 5, I'm bored. Night. 


...the morning after...

I woke up on the wrong side of the bed this morning. I am not really certain I know which  side is actually the right side, but considering the amount of "messed-up-ness" this morning, its evident that it was not the right side that I woke up on. 

It started off last night:::

Not too long ago, I decided to not let the pups sleep in the bed with me due to the excessive amounts of hair they shed. It has been working out really well lately until last night.  
I was so lonely. I hadn't had the BEST day in the world (although it wasn't the worst) and I was just  lonely. I read my Bible, watched the sermon from church that I missed last week, and laid in bed for all of 20 minutes until I decided to let them come sleep with me. They were so excited. They jumped in bed; one under the covers right beside me and one on my pillow above my head.

Well that didn't last long......
I woke up in a bed of hair at 7am. I took my sheets (yes at 7am) and got them cleaned. Got back and went back to sleep disgusted, angry, and regretful....
I set my alarm for 1pm and went back to sleep without the pups. A few hours later, I woke up and looked at my phone. 

"2:58?!?!? (($%@%$&%%@&$*$%@^$&@%#%$&%$&@%@$^&$*))!!!"

{called the boss}

Boss: Hello?

Me: Judy! I am so sorry... I am coming, I promise. I took a nap and my alarm didn't go off.

Boss: Well Heather, what time are you supposed to come in?

Me: 2:15-2:30... Judy I am so sorry. It won't happen again. I am almost ready (That was a lie)

Boss: Well, considering it is only 1pm, then I would say that you have plenty of time to get ready.

Me {VERY CONFUSED} uhhh......excuse me? My clock says 2:58.

Boss: HAHAHAHAHAHAHA Your clock is wrong....have a good day Heather. See you at 2:30.

I set my actual time clock instead of my alarm clock. Just my luck.... I was sscccuuuurrrred.

Now I am sitting at work ... just trying to pass this already insane day away......


...behind closed doors...

I continue to believe, despite what most would say, that my madness stays locked into the 1415 B behind my front door for no one (besides the Devil, Angel, and God) to witness. I was once told that secrets are useless unless you are bold enough to take them to the grave. I honestly don't want to take my secrets to the grave, because I believe that nobody would truly know me unless I revealed a few. So, here is my extraordinary list of wonders, amusements...secrets that go on behind my lovely (and green) front door. 

1. Most everyone I know prays, and so do I. I love to pray. All day everyday. However, when I am in the 1415 B, I tend to just ramble on about life to God like He is physically standing right there in front of me. Sometimes I cry, sometimes I yell (not AT Him, but TO Him). I wouldn't have it any other way to be honest. 

2. I am a mobile teeth brusher. I can't fathom the thought of just sitting in my bathroom while I brush my teeth. I HAVE to walk around. That is usually the reason I can never find my toothbrush. In relation, I also have a 2nd toothbrush that stays in my shower. I love brushing my teeth in the shower. 

3. Anytime I am near a mirror (for those of you who have been in 1415 B, this is why there is a mirror in my kitchen) I have to look in it and make faces. I don't ever look at myself in the mirror obsessing over how I look. Instead, I just make faces at it like its my best friend or something. 

4. I sleep with a BILLION pillows. I absolutely love pillows (probably due to the lack of D...or anybody for that matter)

5. I sing. This one may not surprise very many. I generally sing everywhere, but it is just playing around. When I alone in the 1415 B; I first check to see if the neighbors are home and then I sing for however long they are gone. Every once in a while I MIGHT pick up the guitar, but that is pretty rare. 

6. This one is kinda weird, but I love to talk and I love to talk in front of people, but I am always afraid of messing words up. Therefore, when I am alone, I will practice certain speeches in case I ever need them; such as- my testimony, the "Hi I am Heather/Ginavee" speech,  the "I found another job" speech, the "I just won a million dollars, Marms and Daddy" speech...and so on. 

7. I paint and then erase. I love love love love love to paint, so I always use my white walls as a canvas. However, I generally get very tired of whatever I paint very fast, so I will paint right back over it within a week to a couple of months. 

8. I rap. I love making up random raps. They never make sense and hardly ever rhyme, but it's fun.

9. BOOTY DANCE! I love to act like I can dance so I break out the "white girl dance" all the time. Generally I pull back my shower curtain and dance in the bathtub (without the shower on). I am a little obsessed with my bathtub.

10. I absolutely cannot land my list on 9. It has to be on either a 5 or 10 in this case. I just can't think of anything else weird that I do in my apt. I am sure there is more, but some of the little stuff I consider normal. Anyways, #10 and I shall go back to work and think of more things about life that we love. 

God Bless,


p.s. i got tired of manipulating the times so that my posts are in order. i figure that, in order to conquer the o.c.d. i should probably try and go against it. so for today this one is on top. tomorrow it will probably be moved. i try.

...the magic in me...

I had quite the eventful day yesterday, to say the least. I enjoy going home to see my "adopted" family, but not under the circumstances that I did yesterday.

Regardless of the drama, the day turned out to be very fun and enjoyable.
Growing up in the country, a girl that moves to the city generally longs for a little taste of her country bumpkin heritage. With the help of Eric and Thumper, I was able to grace the forest with my wonderful presence in men's size 12 boots; armed with "No Trespassing" signs, a hammer, and nails. Sister and I sat beside the chimanea with wine in hand, looking at the stars with the family. Got to ride around like old times jamming to what we think is the coolest music every written, while getting most the words wrong. We even got pulled over by a state trooper (Sister's boyfriend) and had to be escorted home. The little things have always amazed us.

This weekend should be interesting...


...reese's, bbq chips, and checkers...

...Those are my three favorite things today. I cannot play Internet checkers without a bag of Lay's BBQ chips sitting on my desk at work (That doesn't make me sound like a slacker at all).

I also cannot drive without being barefoot. Actually I don't think I can really function without being barefoot. I hate shoes.

Anyways, so the past few days have been so extremely random, I really am not sure I am going to be able to explain it.

Friday, I hung out with some old friends and stayed up all freaking night and then went to work at the Star at 7am.  Saturday night I had a "try new kinds of sushi" dinner with friends while avoiding the monotonous touchy feely waiter who was dying to get drunk on Sunday. We sat there with good conversation contemplating how to slowly introduce random people to Jesus without making it funny. Then we hung out the rest of the night at Kikkle's with Leefer (who just got back...yay!) and a nearly passed out Married Couple.

Sunday was very relaxing minus when I nearly lost my sanity and then got lost looking for the fire station.... apparently I just needed to look for the fire trucks. Shabrittma and Hubb (Unmarried Couple) helped me find my mind this go round with a phone call and a nice walk on campus....

That night, I had wierd dreams about:

18 wheelers with machine guns built into the back of their trailor
Sharks in a swimming pool at Fi Fi and Marmie's mansion (they don't even have a swimming pool)
Rolling grocery store buggies down my driveway
Riding my bike to Alaska

Don't Ask. I have no idea.
As if losing my mind on Sunday wasn't enough for life; I also lost it yesterday with drama at work. I have been told that if I am unable to find my mind, I should replace it with a Pineapple, but I am allergic.


...did....did i just do that?...

Today has been without a single moment of boredome, that is for certain. Let's start from the beginning:

I laid in bed for a minute and consulted my phone to see what I should do, but apparently I needed to "get that azz up." Therefore I did. Not long after getting out of the shower, 1/2 of the Married Couple was having a mini massacre, so I had to save her.

I finally had a good lunch at Moe's where little handsome beat drums with forks, drew train tracks on the floor and begged for his "bopples." We chased and danced and ate and walked the balance beam and talked about light up Thomas shoes.

After having plans dropped by Shabritma due to increasingly strict time limits, I had to take some food to the other half of the Married Couple, where I found the cutest little Thomas backpack. Upon finding my way to the register, I slipped into Stage 5 Creeper mode and bought it for little handsome.

Finally got home before work and did the good samaritan thing:
Due to the increasing number of technological advances in cars, locksmiths have become quite estranged for normal everyday unlocking of cars. Apparently I have been placed on this earth to assure these businesses that they are still needed. So I locked the keys in the Taurus. Then paid $40 dollars out of my lacking paycheck. Oh well. They needed it.

Then work happened which consisted of highschool standbys, swag talkin between Shabritma and Richard;  Phone Nazi action from #50 and #72, and a lovely visit by the Married Couple.

Tomorrow: riding my bicycle to work (I am so excited) and sushi  Can. Not. Wait.


...Yulia strikes again...

Everyday (ok maybe not everyday but most days) I meet the sister across the street for some chit chat time at lunch. She lives right beside me and knows all about the misfortune of living beside the crazy Russian neighbor. So sister goes on to tell me these two stories:

Numero Uno....
There are two apt buildings with a big back yard that we all park in. Sister's building is 4 units w/ 2 bedrooms each; therefore, they generally have more cars on their side of the yard.

Yulia always tries to squeeze her car into their yard. (For why? I have no clue. Maybe she is rebellious) Keep in mind that, not only do we have more room on our side of the yard, but we also have more room in the front of the buildings to park. The 2 bedroom apartments' front is yellow lined so they can't even park in front.

So one day Sister is sitting on her porch and sees Yulia drive up. The yard was full and one car on Sister's side was parked a bit crooked so Yulia couldn't quite fit in the yard that she obviously wanted. She backs into our part of the yard, parking her car ever so neatly. She then procedes to go to Sister's neighbor and asks them to move thier car so she can park on thier side. W.T.H??
Still think I am crazy for thinking Yulia is crazy? OK didn't think so.

Numero Dos
I told you about the ginormous space in the front for us to park, right? Apparently Yulia doesn't want to park there because a tree limb fell on the neighbor's house....
First of all there is one tree in the front and it has already fallen and done its thing.
Second of all...there about 40 in the back yard.
Poor Yulia.

So I know that was boring, but I was on a rant.

...6's are bad, 2's are good, and Tuesdays are light blue...

Ha Ha. I laugh everytime I look at that on my facebook profile....sooo....J and I chilled at the Downtown Pub last night, contemplating on which one of us was the wierder one.

"Tell me something wierd about yourself that I don't already know..." is how it all started.

I was diagnosed with Obsessive Compulsive Disorder for whatever reason...maybe because excessive ammounts of numbers make me happy and not putting my hand on something that I walk beside makes me want to throw up. Anyways... so my thing is with numbers. Lots and lots of numbers!

For example:

I count everything including letters in the words that I am writing right now.

When I wake up, I don't think of happy or sad or angry...its all in numbers. (like that makes any sense. I am terrible at explaining it)

I touch things a certain number of times alot. I don't have to do it with everything, but if I do get anxious about something, I have to touch it.

So we sat for a few hours talking about nonsense and how the world was wierd and we were normal. .


...you don't hold it to the level of importance as me...

Generally, everyday I wake up at about 10 or 11, lay in bed for about 20 more minutes until my dogs decide to leave me alone long enough for me to get outta bed and then throw on some clothes to take them outside.

So I throw on some pj pants and after about 15 minutes I eventually get the Devil on his leash. I guess crazy Russian neighbor heard me upstairs and by the time I open my apt door, she is standing there waiting for me STALKING.... 

       "Deed zhu shay dat dee appt for Zig wars toooday?" 
 "I am headed there now, Yulia."
         "Zhu jest doont zlook leek zhu are dreezed tu go tu  tohn."

Who is she to judge my appearance? This is coming from a woman who not only wears moo moo's but hangs them on the porch for God and everybody to see. 


So maybe I wasn't literally headed to town that minute, but I was not far from it. Geez. Give me a break. 

I eventually made my way to the vet, who basically told me that the only way my dog could get tested for rabies is to cut his head off. I mean, I am no genius of reason or anything, but I just assume beheading my Devil dog defeats the whole purpose. 

Then I called the Health Dept, who told me that not only would my dog be dead after 2 months of having rabies, but Yulia would be doing a little less stalking and a little more crazy psycho killer, should she have rabies as well. 

When I get home, Yulia has her window open (a sure sign that she is home), so I yell in it to tell her what the vet and health dept said. 
Who would have figured that she wouldn't come out.

So I avoided my apt for the rest of the day, went to eat with myself, and went to work super early. Lovely day. 


...blah blah blah...

I just wrestled about 200 pounds of solid muscle. Her name is Dallas.

Over the weekend, I kept the Married Couple's Ayelstone Bulldog, who is a complete trip. I like to think that she is me in dog form. Here is why:

She hogs the entire bed.
She falls up the stairs as well as down them.
She is all bark and no bite.
She is a fat kid.
She chews on things if she is unhappy (ok so I don't chew, but I do slap into bitch mode if my ears are cold)
She thinks that she can fit onto tiny things like a small chair (I like to think I can fit into tiny things including but not limited to: size 2 dresses, packing boxes, suitcases, etc.)
She falls alot.
She doesn't know her own strength.

I tend to think that if I ever believed in reincarnation that I once was a man who smoked and when I die, I will become a dog.


...single life: best and worst...

I am determined to find the good in everything. I have always been like that, but since I have this little sidekick that follows me around everywhere...I have to find the bad too. So here are the best and worsts of the single life.

1. I answer to noone. I do my thannnnggg without having to wonder what someone else thinks.
2. My dogs tell me they love me more.
3. I have broken less phones against less walls.
4. I can now work on my anger issues as stated above.
5. I can talk to myself at any point I want without someone hearing me.
6. I can sing in the shower...louder than before.
7. I can dance around naked in my apt all the time.
8. I don't worry about someone coming in and seeing me carrying my microphone (brush) in my pocket while cleaning....should I feel the need to really bust out some Jay-Z to my jams.
9. I can see better.
10. Me and Jesus have WAY more conversations now.

1. I have noone to remember where I put my keys, toothbrush, phone, computer, etc.
2. My cuddle buddy is a 200 lb bulldog on weekends that the Married Couple go out of town.
3. I have noone to make fun of.
4. I talk to myself more, making me think I really am crazy.
5. Noone to assure me I am not in need of anger management.
6. My dogs spend way too much time with me.
7. All the bills in the mailbox have to be mine now.
8. I now answer myself and oftentimes get a little confused.
9. I live by crazy russian neighbor now.
10. I look weird in glasses.

...it's official...

It is official. I do not have TV...STILL. I was so excited about getting Directv and I didn't.

My landlord says the dish would "trash up" the apartment building.

Oh well...just another breakup. Comcast, here I come.

On a different note, I tried this new "keep the dogs off the bed at night and put them on a pallet in the floor instead" thing. I was up all night, determined to keep them off the bed instead of sleeping. I would literally wake from a dead sleep with the Angel on my shoulder and the Devil on my knee and just miraculously be wide awake to get them off the bed. I really stuck by it all night too. I am proud and my bed loves me now.

Also, the Devil ran away this morning and I preceded to chase him almost two blocks in my Ford pajama pants and a biker t-shirt. What was he chasing? A motorcycle. How appropriate.

So I am without a TV, a cuddle buddy, or a life for that matter and now I am off to eat my sammich.


...the breakup...

I finally decided it was time for a change. I am unhappy and distraught most of the time. I go to sleep mostly unsatisfied and never get exactly what I want.  I have been in a "every other day" relationship with Redbox, and folks, I've met someone new: Netflix.

Why, you say, would I give up this love that I have for the oh so loyal redbox?

Well, I came to the immediate and delicate decision last night while attempting to rent a Redbox movie at the local Kangaroo on University Blvd:

I pulled up, stepped out of the car, noticing a strange man washing his (or what I thought was his) car. Generally people wash their windshield when they are at the pump, where the squeegee and such are located.


This man had a l o n g scrub brush and a cooler full of water. Upon being whacked in the head with his scrub brush, I politely stepped aside, only wanting my beloved movie. By the time the very sssllllooowwwww and unforgivable Redbox was done giving me what I really didn't even want, my car was covered in bubbles.

Feeling bad, I offered the guy a drink from the store for his hard work (even though he bashed me in the head). He spurts off this random name of some kind of purple grape drink and points it out to me through the store window.

It was grape beer. I just bought a seemingly homeless man beer. Wish I would have had cash.
So I sit, waiting on Netflix to visit me; apparently he is a bit sketchy as well....my relationship life sucks.

Tip of the day:
To the rebound lover of the Redbox: Breakup
To the lover of Netflix: I believe he cheats.


...words i can't say...

I have this huge speech issue. I think its pretty funny and usually get as much of a kick out of it as people who hear me. For those of you who know me, this should be quite "tickling" and for others...well you probably won't understand, but it's ok.

1. Deductible {as in taxes, yo}: usually pronounced in a way that makes me seem from a foreign country
such as: {DA-Dadadadadadada-bull}

2. Pacific: not the ocean but like a {specific} item.

3. Pasketti: like Italiano cuisine.

4. Comferble: like my super soft pillow

5. Sammich: everyone's favorite. Including the CEO of the company I work for and his sidekick "Sned."

So there is something for you to make fun of me for.

p.s. ask me to recite the alphabet by sounds instead of naming the letters. That really sounds like a foreign language. hmmmmm. maybe I should make my own language....


...the kids...

As if I weren't sleepy or something, the two chihuahuas woke me at the buttcrack of dawn. By that, I mean 10am. Ahh...who really needs sleep anyways?


So I throw the covers off to reveal a tiny little devil staring at me like I should have already done this hours ago.

"Well guess what Mr. Zeek. I have to make a living unlike you, my child. How do you think you have food to eat and a roof over your head? It wasn't very long ago that the bff was thinking of taking you to the pound."

Really? Do I really talk to them like they are real children. Why yes. Yes I do.

So up and adam I get, with the Devil and the Angel right at my heels, jumping around like it's Christmas morning. So out the green door we go to frolic in the front yard, only to find a nice little note on my mailbox.

"Heather, the rabies tag you showed me belonged to Rambo. I need the one for Zig. Love Yulia."

{p.s. it is Zeek}

The story is as follows. I have a Devil dog named Zeek. He likes to bite.

Yulia is my crazy Russian neighbor.
Zeek bit her, BUT didn't even break the skin.
She swears she has rabies.
I gave her the wrong tag and can't find Zeeks...

Tip of the day:
Don't break the Leash Laws in Tuscaloosa.
Avoid Russians.


...just a few things about this thing i have...

g stemmed from my middle name, Virginia. My family has always called me various names that encompass Virginia, and ginavee was one of them. Marmie (my mother) would be so confused at times due to my rebellion, for I wasn't known to be troublesome.

"GINAVEE!" I can still hear marmie screaming to the top of her lungs as if I had just set the house on fire. This is a woman who is thin set, sweet as can be, but obviously, could kick your ass if need be.

So when I get a wild hair, or act a fool, we know that ginavee is out to play.

Here is our life. Day by day the drama unfolds to find me incredibly frustrated with the personality that binds me-oh, g....


I don't know when or where it started to be completely honest. I have always been known to be a bit strange, so having multiple personalities was a given. I never realized how incredibly complex my mind was until I was well into college, in my psychology class. It isn't something that needs to be diagnosed (or maybe it is); just a little fun habit from my childhood that, honestly, is the only thing that keeps me sane. I am compelled into believing that the alter makes me who I am, therefore I embrace it with everything I am.

And so it is....just me and g.
Here are some people you may or may not hear about in my blog.

Fi-Fi and Marmie

Dallas or D

Hubb and Shabritma (Unmarried Couple)

Jay and Wayne aka Married Couple


Stac aka Sister

Brother aka Shot